Today I went to campus to turn in a few last minute things (aka my very very late work that I am praying my teachers accept because I am a SLACKER) and I saw people everywhere in caps and gowns. I'll admit-it was a little hard. Sometimes its hard for me to understand why I'm not graduated; why I have been in school as long as I have, and still do not have a bachelors degree to show for it. Some of the kids that I started with my freshman year already have Masters degrees too! And then while I was walking around looking at all the students in their gowns, and the parents beaming at their children and carrying flowers, I started thinking that If I had never left, that would have been me. I would have graduated as planned in the Winter of 2009 and I would be on to a different very life; a life that is a-lot more grown up than the one I have now. It felt weird. And then I realized that that life would erase alot of the good things in my life that are very dear to me, like: my mission, my ability to speak Chinese, my spirituality and Faith, all of the life experiences I have had since then-the unforgettable and the difficult ones alike, the chance to be at BYU with both of my siblings, and all of the friends that Heavenly Father led me to that I love so very much. I can't always answer all of the questions as to why I am still here. I don't know why God made me go on a misson sometimes. I don't know why I had to prolong graduation an extra 2 semesters to study Mandarin. I don't know why I am studing a Major that takes 5 years to complete and doesn't pay much more than $40,000 a year at best. I just don't know. I don't know every single little thing about my life. But I know that it will work out, and that it will be great. I know that I am doing the right thing right now. And I am happy, even if I am still here living the good old college life. I mean hey, my mom did always tell me "whats the rush to work Emily. You have your whole life for that!" I think you're right mom. And through it all I feel so lucky and so blessed to have the life that I do. Thats how I know its right.
If you want to hear about moving adventures, graduation parties, finals, and deep soul moments over text, check back in the next few days :D
-emily
1 comment:
i love that realization you had. You are amazing and every little thing happens for a reason. The Lord has a plan for us that is usually different than what we had in mind. Everything you have done so far was supposed to happen and you are exactly where you should be :)
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