I'm so happy....

Life is crazy right now.....And let me just be honest. Lately I feel like I have no friends. Yes I have convinced myself of this, and let me tell you it SUCKS big time. Now, before you go feeling sorry for me, just read this whole post. Yes people call me, and they say hi to me at work and at school. People smile at me and they remember my name. But behind those smiles it just feels empty and I feel like no one actually KNOWS me. I NEED PEOPLE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!! I need friends that will just laugh when i'm mouthing off cause i'm pissed about whatever, or that will lend me their shoulder if i need to feel sad for a little while and I don't want to be sad alone. And where are the people that i WANT to tell my life to because they will understand and have felt the same way? I'll tell you where they are. One lives accross the street, and one lives up by the temple; and they have a new best friend. One lives in hawaii, one in Pittsburg, one in Orem, and one in California. And because of this, they just can't be there every second I want someone to go eat with me, or have dance parties, or listen to the madness that is my life right now. The other day I felt like I just had nothing. And I know this isn't really true ,but thats how it felt. And Let me tell you, I've forgotten how to make friends. One of the most basic of human relationships.....I feel clueless on how to instigate. Because before I had SO MANY friends, and I didn't have to do anything to make new ones because I just met new people through them, and I knew that I would like them because they were friends of friends. I feel like finding people that are LIKE me and making them like me should be alot easier than it is right now. So the other day, I was just so mad about this part of my life that I had a mini melt down in my room and stuff was flyin' and i was cursin and the room got trashed, and all of my annoyance was aimed full force at the awkwardness that is ME!!! And I said a prayer in my heart and asked God to just have ANYONE, ANY of the people that I love to find me or text me or call me or just SOMETHING. And these past two days, people that i have been missing called me! They texted me! My BF offered me her Guitar Hero!!! YES!!!! This is something to celebrate in itself!! My bf in Hawaii called to ask about what cough medicine she should buy lol.......hey every little bit helps. Several other girl friends that i've been missing said they would come to my birthday party!!! Some amazing girls took me under their wing and with them to sweet sweet dance parties! And my sister and I-for one of the first times in awhile, I felt like I am actually cool enough to hang out with her now! I'M ACCEPTED!!!! People DO love me!!! Right now I just have the distinct feeling that someone is looking out for me........and i'm so thankful for it. Thanks God. I love you.