i hate my new job. i sit behind that desk ALLLL DAYYYYYY and i just go nuts. my boss' name is amy. shes a skinny young little blonde woman with no family and probably no friends. Shes kinda funny sometimes and talks/giggles to herself. i can tell that she wishes she could be a nice person all the time. but she beasts at will man. And she works late every night. today she called me in and beasted and made me stay late till all this crap was done. i was at work till 8:30. and she was still there. this cannot go on. i will re claim my life....soon. im only gonna work for like 2 weeks so i can have money to go to tennessee and to take to oh i dunno, china. i wrote about amy today in my journ while i was angstin for asia....

"this job is killing my soul!!!!!! ive never hated a job so much. probably because i know what its like to have my soul completely fulfilled-everyday, for the last 6 months. my brain feels dull. the numbers and directions thrown at me bounce off into information mess on the floor. my reaction time is slow and my reception is weak. im trying to remember when that happened? Im at my desk trying to pay attention but my foot keeps tapping and i just want to get up and dance on my desk, write, call, text, websurf, talk to whomeever i can discover..just whatev. am i lazy? maybe-probably. i just want to love my soul. i couldnt care less about this spreadsheet. i just want to ask my boss...how are you complacent with your life being stressed out and grumpy with only numbers and letters and the ding of your microsoft outlook to keep you warm at night? Why dont you have a lovie or a friend to want to go home to? i know why you work late honey...you havent fooled me. i wrote that book. And your success can only hide you from your dark truth for a few seasons. Its raining outside but you cant feel it...its raining in your heart Allthetime. how did you get this way? what was it like amy when you went to china to talk busness and make deals? did you even let yourself enjoy it. AMY-LOOK AT ME! I STAND AT YOUR DESK EVERYDAY WHILE YOU BEAST! who are you?"