Wednesday, August 6, 2008

hooking

So back when i was in kindergarten, a boy asked me to be his girlfriend, and we held hands after school. Then one day a different boy wanted to be my boyfriend, and WE held hands after school. Then when i was in third grade, this boy decided to notice me, and we danced the do-si-do in gym class. That is, until this chick with long blonde hair came along and STOLE him away during our 2 step. grr. When i was in 8th grade, the nerd at school decided that we were meant for each other, and wrote me poems that his buddies would toss at me during honors English. he even stooped so low as to bring me a teddy bear with a red heart clasped between its paws to school. But somehow i never even noticed that boys existed until i met Mr. Mojo....the beauty of the high school track team. This boy is the smoothest criminal i have ever met. Every B day after American history we would brush by each other on the way to class, and his 'whats up em' always made my cheeks burn red. Amy would walk with me, and had a paper bag at the ready for when i started to hyperventilate, or felt queasy from the nerves of seeing him. We chatted online, and would flirt like mad, even though i could barely croak out a 'hello' in person.

When i was seventeen, i got my first boyfriend. We met because he was going out with my friend from school, and we became instant best friends. Eventually they broke up, and to make a long story short, we kissed at the park in the parking lot because he was too scared to do it on the swingy bench where we would discuss our life's fears, aspirations, and annoyances. That day i had my first real kiss. The kind where the pit of your stomach drops and and feel all swirly like you might fall over.

Paige, my 14 year old surrogate sister from work, told me today that "back in the day" she kissed her 6th grade BOYFRIEND under the bleachers, and it was awesome.
My co worker asks, "ummmm, so what do kids do with their boyfriend IN 6th GRADE???"Well, im here here to remind you all. They probably had their parents take them to the mall and walk around so they could hold hands and look for other kids they know. maybe go to the movies; share a moment amidst the gummi bears and mountain dew. They might have gone to the school dance and swayed to Enrique iglesias. then they obviously snuck out under the bleachers for the anticipated/dreaded lip lock, until their braces got stuck together, and they had to call their parents to come and help them un-hook. That's how things like this go girls. If you kiss boys in the 6th grade, you will get stuck together...and die. So just don't do it.

the end. :)

2 comments:

Holly said...

you'll be the best mom ever! kissing under the bleachers = sudden death. everyone knows that!

Anonymous said...

haha best post ever!! note to self- no hooking.