Super Powers!

If you know me, you know that I pride myself on being a very real person. I haven't always been this open and honest. Believe me it's been a process and a struggle at times. But there is nothing I hate more than fake-ness. I hate fake people. yes I do. and don't judge me for that! I hate fake crappy knock-offs of really nice purses. I hate plastic fake food that old people put on their dining room tables....what a tease! What if I tried to eat that mess!? Anyways, you get the picture. I pride myself in being who I really am, even publicly on this blog. Therefore, I admit that I don't really know what I am doing with my life right now. It's in an in between. In limbo if you will. I know where I will BE for the next year yes. But sometimes, things in my life just feel a little unsettled. I feel like something big is coming and I need to get ready.....but what is it??? And has it even come yet? I think alot of other people are feeling this way right now too. I know this because I practice occlemency and can read minds! Actually i'm a blog stalker and I have read it on alot of other blogs :) yep I admit it. But seriously why can't I just be more like a SUPERHERO!? Cause super heros know everything....esp where to find evil crime causing vilains like that Florida team that beat us, or even Lady GAGA in the dark corners of the night! You could just call me Henrietta Potter!! Imagine me taking on the world with my 11 inch peacock feather and whatever heart string wand!? ACCIO LIFE'S PURPOSE! I mean, super heroes, they are confident.....so confident that they will wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes, or on their head, or just wherever they want! And they always look hot! I'll admit I have a small obsession with the Bat Man. I even have a T-shirt that I regularly wear from the little boys section at Wal-Mart. Here's a picture of me trying to be a super hero:

Well, in honor of this unsettling feeling that makes me what to talk about random-ness, I want to let you read something that I wrote in my journal......the paper thing that usually no one else gets to see? yep that thing.

"Sometimes i wonder that if i had a super power, what i would have. Flying would be sweet...if you think about it thats probably Bat Man's main power, and he does alot of good with that. I wouldnt want to hear people's thoughts....that would just be a bad idea for any of us. Seeing the future would just make us end up changing it...so that wouldnt even work. Tonight i was driving just shootin the breeze with myself, thinking about super powers. The needle kept dipping below E and i didnt even care. I just kept on drivin'. Secretly I wanted it to run out of gas because maybe that would magically make time stop....make my life stop. Even for a moment so that i could make everything stop and just be silent for me. and watch the people frozen in time, being human. Then they wouldnt see me crying or look at me driving alone, and i could just re live moments when i wasn't alone until i was ready to hit play again. I keep going forward going forward going forward. sometimes its just terrifying!!! and in that moment in the car i just wanted the remote to my life. i wanted to stop it from happening, or rewind it, or just pause it or something. GO GO GADGET DVR!!!! And the car didnt run out of gas. it kept going, like my life. tick tick tick....minute by minute. the rest of my life goes by, and still approaches. i dont really feel like a hero or anything....but maybe one day i can be to someone and then it will be worth it."