This blog has been neglected for a LONG time! Im so sorry blog! I will not forsake you any longer! I guess some of my lack of blogging has been out of lack of things to say. Or rather, fear that I have nothing to say that anyone else will want to read. But maybe just maybe I don't have to write anything epic on here for ya'll to like it. Maybe i just need to write about the thoughts and happenings of ME. Emily.
I started this blog I think back in 2008, lower bunk bed below Abbey Christiansen. Every night when I went to sleep in the london center that sits in Notting Hill directly accross from Kensington gardens, I just felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world. And i would look up at the wood of my bunk and see all of the advice from the girls that slept in that bunk before me like "blade or die!" and "eat piggies from Marks and Spencers"......usual london advice. And I just remember everything that that place held for me. I am a person that really loves art. not just LOOKING at it, but CREATING it. That summer i was in a drawing class, a watercolor class, AND a conceptual art class. I will never forget those conceptual art projects.
One time, Joe (thats what we called our professor...he's so cool) gave us each a small plastic jar. He told us to fill the jar with 100 related things throughout the week. And it had to be meaningful to each of us. Some people filled it with 100 rain drops, or 100 threads. I filled mine with 100 colors, and i remember walking around the streets of london picking up pieces of trash in array of colors, as well as painting the inside lid with different colors of nail polish from the local drug store :) When we presented our jars, Joe had us move to outside the London National Gallery, where we stood with our jars outstretched. We created a blog with stickers and stuck them to ourselves so we coudl give them to people as they walked by. But the point is that we were a living art gallery outside the National Gallery. And our blog actually got hits! All of us were so stoked about it, and it just felt glorious to be a part of something so artistic.
I remember random outings with my friends painting by river sides, or sketching in the galleries. And even just the times when we got to create beautiful music for our sunday firesides. I got everyone together and pulled something out of my music stash, and we just had some glorious moments singing Prayer of the Children, Come thou fount, and Defying gravity with voices that still have plenty of soul in them. And i remember those moments and wonder where my passion for music got lost, and what I need to do to reconnect with it.......
London Changed my life so much, in so many ways. And that was why I started this blog. Because of my fulfillment by that place, and those people, at that time. And i wrote on it religiously until I left for Hong Kong. I owe so much to london. My passion for life and all art forms. My decision to go on a mission. My search for happiness and how to be BETTER. And that fulfillment led up to an experience that I could only dream I would have on another continent. And since I've come back, I feel like that part of me just died. The creating part of me was given over to tiredness and fatigue and the "just get through school" mentality. And why do i wonder why i think back to those times and just wonder where the good times went? when i felt like i was my full complete self and nothing could stop me. I know i need to re-find this part of myself. The part that runs through the grass in bare feet. The woman that is not afraid to tell people how she feels, or that she is scared, or express the love in her heart when it is scary. The woman that runs away to different places and writes poems and paints on canvas in the front yard on the grass with the sprinklers on. And all the people that always made me feel so alive when I was with them.....like when we were drivin' down the road in unbridled freedom with the windows down and "Marching Bands of Manhattan" on high.....what happened to them? what happened to me?
I really think there is only one thing that can save me now.
"In the depths of Winter, I finally realized that within me there lay an invincible SUMMER."
--Albert Camus
http://jarart100.blogspot.com/
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