sometimes i wonder that if i had a super power, what i would have. Flying would be sweet...if you think about it thats probably bat mans main power, and he does alot of good with that. I wouldnt want to hear people's thoughts....that would just be a bad idea for any of us. Seeing the future would just make us end up changing it...so that wouldnt even work. Tonight i was driving over to the minihouse. the needle kept dipping below E and i didnt even care. I just wanted it to run out of gas because maybe that would make time stop....make my life stop. Even for a moment so that i could make everything stop and just be silent for me. and watch the people frozen in time, being human. then they wouldnt see me crying or look at me driving alone, and i could just re live moments when i wasnt until i was ready to hit play again. I keep going forward going forward going forward. sometimes its just terrifying. and in that moment i just wanted the remote to my life. i wanted to stop it from happening, or rewind it, or just pause it or something. Maybe like sliding down the glace on timp and rocks are coming...a big one already hurt and cut my leg all up. I just dont feel like any more for awile, GO GO GADGET PAUSE. I dont want to limp down the mountain when i cant walk any more. Let my scraped leg heal PLEASE! i cant stop going down ward....or upward. or just whatever way im going these days. i may be a noun and an adjective and a verb all in one, but im not a DVR. And the car didnt run out of gas. it kept going, like my life. tick tick tick....minute by minute. the rest of my life goes by, and still approaches. i dont really feel like a hero or anything....but maybe i can be to someone and then it will be worth it.