Even though the lyrics are cheesy, they are true.

angistin' my face off.

Somehow I feel that something big is coming..........

Thanks to my pal Ingrid......

Ingrid Michaelson that is! I've listened to Ingrid for the better part of 4 years now (minus 1.5 for a mission). And ya know, I'm a person that loves all kind of music. Everything from classical to hard rock, hip hop and punk, and even some screaming. I LOVE my angsty emo music, and I love R&B like Usher and Chris Brown. So some might call me boring for making Ingrid a staple. But I honestly don't care. Because she has taught me something that really no other artist has, and isn't that the point of music: to feel something? 

I love Ingrid for her uninhibited honest lyrics. She says things that, to be honest, the rest of us are often afraid to say or admit. I found this gem on youtube one time after hearing it on a TV show, and I loved it. And tonight the first thing I could think of to write about was this song.

Something has happened recently in the life of a loved one to remind me who precious a gift our human relationships are, and how fragile they can be.

Sometimes I go for drives and think about things in my life. I listen to Ingrid, or Dashboard, or something that can help me loosen up and let everything real slow and easy. And I am the kind of person that has a mess for a mind. It seriously feels like an art studio in there. Everything is all jumbled up and swirling on top of itself like paint on a canvas. When I drive, I have to take everything out, and organize it into labed boxes. Some of them sealed up tight; some of them easily accessable with labels. All contain my thoughts and feelings. The sealed ones protect me from open wounds, while the others just need a place to rest. Well tonight was one of those nights I went in, and pulled one of those boxes off the dusty shelf, and sealed another one up. Sometimes its just good and healthy to angst. 

Love is something that when you find it, you grab on and you don't let go. Whether its romantic love, the love of a beloved friend, the unbreakable love of family, or the passion of a career or hobby. I see people all the time that have it and just throw it away. A misunderstanding happens, or people just drift apart and don't do anything about it. They give passion in their hearts over to the mundane disappointments of daily life. Or people just decide to stop loving each other because that's easier. And everytime I see it I just want to scream: YOU MORON. I learned a looong time ago when dad walked out that door, that when you have something special in your life, you fight for it. And you never give up.

There is a certain man in my life that I loved. I don't talk about him, or this experience really hardly ever because it's so personal. And none of you would know exactly who I'm talking about. But this person was, and continues to be, a person that was very pivotal in my life. He was someone who loved me unconditionally, and blindly. He changed the way I see the world. And we definitely had some bumps. There were days that he did things that annoyed me. And at the end of the day, I didn't know how to work through the things that bothered me. I didn't know how to communicate. I couldn't face the depth of what I was feeling. So I let him go. And he kept in touch with me for years, clinging to any chance for us. And it was definitely hard for me too. But   then I didn't see any other option because I was young and stupid. And you want to know what?........

That is one of my greatest regrets of my life. That is incredibly hard to admit. So this is what I've learned. When you love someone, you should tell them. You should show them. You should be there for them and cherish them fearlessly, even if it doesn't always seem reciprocated in the way that you want. I'm over pretending like I don't care about people that I do. Because that's who I am. And luckily Ingrid gets that too.