day 2-the meaning behind your blog name

Well, my blog is named "Beautiful Disaster" and the older I get, the more and more fitting that name seems to be. I changed it after my mission from "I am Emily M", which was also a good name I think, just because theres alot of blogs out there. Like food blogs and blogs that talk about clothes and catchy ideas and such. I love all of that. But I write a blog to let the world see who I really am. And that name was kind of a declaration saying "i'm not going to hide who I really am anymore, even when its hard!"

I love Beautiful Disaster because to me thats what life is. Its a disaster all the time. Even when you plan it, even when you obsess over it and think and think and think, you can never predict exactly how things will go. Things that seem like the most ridiculous or difficult parts of your life can turn out to be the most inspring and enlightening.

This past week on Choir Tour we went and sang at a Methodist church. The kids felt a little awkward since they really have never been to any church other than the LDS church, but I was right at home cause I used to sing in the choir with my best friend at her Methodist church in our home town. And the pastor said something that really struck me about Oysters! When on oyster gets a piece of sand inside of it, the oyseter puts layer after layer of protective coating over the invasive scratchy grain in order to protect itself. And in the end, it turns out to be a pearl! Man thats life in a nutshell.

As far as me, this semester has been trough....oops i meant to type either tough or rough but hey, trough works lol. Student teaching has been so great but also exhausting, and there have been alot of other things this last 4 months that have left me emotionally exhausted. I've been kind of a disaster. But even when I'm going nuts and acting crazy, the people that love me still love me. You know who you are. And I am so grateful for that. Love is what gives me faith that everything will always be ok in the end. And if its not ok, then its not the end.

So there it is. I'm a freakin' beautiful disaster. Take me or leave me.