Secrets....

Mr. Wong

I have class every day from 8-12. First block is Mr. Wong. We call him Wong Teacher. He wears the same kakhi pants to work every day along with some black sandals that show his toes. He always walks into class with a clear thermos in his hands. Not that I ever see him walk into class....due to i'm a slacker and always show up to class about 5 min late. -__- Today's excuse was my bike got a flat tire.

Inside this thermos contains yellow liquid with an array of long plants floating up from the bottom. I swear that man is drinking the ocean in a glass, with the sea weed stretching up, swaying in the murky water. Sea in a glass.....maybe we should market that mess in America! And maybe I should remember to refrain from telling him that his drink looks like the ocean that my little brother used to pee in when we went to South Padre every year. Noted.

Mr Wong is about as old school chinese professor as they get. Every day he picks up the chalk. Writes about a million chinese words on the board.

His chalk breaks in half.

He keeps using it.

It breaks again.

Small pieces of the chalk cling to the board and slowly slide down down DOWN, refusing defeat in the eyes sudden death like so many other pieces of chalk that have not been as lucky. I'm looking at the board. he's looking at me peering through square spectacles that make his eyes look at least three times larger than they really are. "do you understand? Do you understand Fuh Zi Min?(thats my name)" I nod my head as my eyes trace the chalk inching its way down the board. He turns back to the black board and writes another word that I can't read because lets be honest, I just can't pay attention for that long.

Chalk breaks again.

.....Every day for two hours.

He can be very hilarious too.....like the day he started teaching us naughty words. Or when the boys get him to go on an hour long tangent about soccer during class, and he doesn't even realize that he has rambled for an hour. Or when he is trying to use the new vocabulary in an example:

Grammar Principle: Not up to standard. Example: I don't know why Emily's chinese is not up to standard. She's been studying for a whole year. bleh

Here's what happens to my mind....

"I freaking miss AMERICA! all i want is PIZZA people. Can't you get over the cost and realize I need this for my SOUL"

"I hope that zit on my face hasn't gotten bigger....."

"I wonder what the conversion from Kilos to pounds is....the dr. said I am 55 Kilos? What if pounds are like THREE TIMES AS MUCH!? OH NO!"

"Blah blah blah....what are we talking about again? FOCUS Emily FOCUS"

" Man, I need some better dance moves. I never did learn how to dougie. Maybe I should do that after school?

"I should have gotten more sleep last night....why do i ALWAYS do this to myself! But at least sleep was sacrificed all in the name of the A I just got on that Quiz!"

"Wonder what I should eat for lunch after this.....I really want Pizza. I can't have pizza. Ok noodles. More noodles."

"Is this class almost over? OH only 23 min left!"

And that is why I need sweet liberation from distraction. Because everyone in my class is better at Chinese than me. Probably because they aren't thinking about pizza all the time.....or are they?

Hello, I am Human. What's your name?

I miss my blog.

We humans are interesting creatures i've decided. FOR EXAMPLE: I love this blog. I miss it dearly, yet every time I view my own blog to see who has updated theirs, I can't quite look it straight in the face. my eyes skim over the top of it as if i'm looking at it, but not clearly. This abates my guilt until the next time, which leads my guilt to only grow further.

I have. so. much. to say. And by so much to say, I mean so much I have NO IDEA how to say. So I say nothing. I am a human and I am nuts. Therefore these silent months are the victim of several paragraphs that have been re-cut and unpasted countless times because I can't decide what to tell you about my life. I can't decide what you want to hear about. Should I take my stories of chinese children pooping in th

e streets and eloquently recount them for you here? Or Is there value in my daily rambling? Not decided....stay tuned.

I hate waiting. I hate waiting at the airport for the plane to come. I hate waiting for my dumplings to be boiled when I'm hungry. I hate waiting on boys. Waiting for them to come around. Waiting for them to call. Waiting for them to realize the best thing they never had. I think you hate waiting too.

Hi welcome to Mcdonalds! What would you like? Oh that will be ready in about 2 weeks....you can wait right??? Whi

ch leads me to my point. We are living in a delayed gratification culture in an instant gratification world.

There is always one boy...I see him and I get stuck. and I think

YOU ARE MY PLAN OF ACTION.......until I am blown off.

Then I find a new plan of action. Or at least try to pretend like I found a new plan of action.

did it work.....?

We try to cover up our feelings. We don't say what we mean. What kind of ridiculous species extends delayed gratification when

what we all want here is INSTANT GRATIFICATION. "Hurry back home to me from China woman.....i'm itchin' to watch some modern family!" Which really means, I miss you and really want to see you, and don't really care if we watch anything as planned. But i'm not going to say that because it doesn't sound cool or funny.

Boy likes girl, but boy doesn't want girl to know. So he thinks, I better not talk to her too much. I'd better not let her know. Maybe only a little bit, so she'll be really confused as to why I don't look her in the eyes some days,

but sit really close to her during movies when she's cold.

**?????***

Maybe I don't want to be human. Maybe I should turn into a spirit animal like a panda or something. YEAH, a Panda! I'm cute and cuddly. And i've gained about 10lb from all the delicious noodlesand fried rice i've been enjoying. I'm starting to look a little like i'm preparing for hybernation. And no I don't regret that. Booyah.

glimpses of China

These are some photos from the most beautiful places in China! While China def has its ups and downs, the people here are some of the sweetest you will ever get to meet! This woman in the picture above: she comes from a village of long haired women that wash their hair with rice, no joke. Its so long she wraps it around her head like a turban. The mountains of Guilin were also especially gorgeous. I'm so lucky to live in such a beautiful place!

USA

Hello from Sunny Nanjing China! I hope you know that I miss you America. If you ever want to appreciate the USA, just move away for awhile :)

Sometimes I wonder what the hell am I doing in China. Actually I wonder that every single day lately.

A long time ago I went on a study abroad to London. It was one of the best times of my life. I never thought about anything else, much less home. I soaked it all in, and I had THE time of my life seeing all the art museums, the musicals, and of course Mozarts grave and shakespeares Globe.

This study abroad is a little bit different. I served my mission in Hong Kong, and I remember getting home sick. But I loved my life. And I loved the people. I mostly just remember sinking into it the best that I could, and grabbing on to every chance I could get to speak the language and talk about the church. The purpose of it pushed me forward. but now....I feel a little lost.

I am a student of Mandarin in China. And China is just so much different than I ever thought. Its dirty. Its crowded. lots of people try to steal from you on a daily basis. In fact my teacher just came back from running, and her phone was stolen from underneath a tree where she hid it. Everyone stares SHAMELESSLY. When people look at us, I can literally SEE the dollar signs in their eyes. it makes me sad sometimes, and I probably get asked at least 5 times a day to take pictures with people. Now i know how celebrities feel lol...ok thats a little exaggerated but you get the point. I don't know many of the other kids that are here with me well, and to be honest some of them drive me a little nuts.

I'll admit I miss my family, and my friends. And I miss provo and life that i'm used to. I'll admit that I REALLY REALLY miss a good American In and Out burger. I could REALLY use some good Mexican food and maybe a hug from my mom right now. And losing my debit card was the icing on this 'missing America' day. But you know what, there has to be something beautiful about this place, and i'm GOING to find it.

I'm trying to remember the reason that i came here in the first place: to learn Mandarin. It's never been something that I felt extremely ambitious to do, but when I was on my mission, I strongly felt that someday (maybe in my life time) the missionaries WILL enter China. And I want me and my family to have a part in that. And somehow, this language is going to come in handy sometime in my life. I just know it.