We humans are interesting creatures i've decided. FOR EXAMPLE: I love this blog. I miss it dearly, yet every time I view my own blog to see who has updated theirs, I can't quite look it straight in the face. my eyes skim over the top of it as if i'm looking at it, but not clearly. This abates my guilt until the next time, which leads my guilt to only grow further.
I have. so. much. to say. And by so much to say, I mean so much I have NO IDEA how to say. So I say nothing. I am a human and I am nuts. Therefore these silent months are the victim of several paragraphs that have been re-cut and unpasted countless times because I can't decide what to tell you about my life. I can't decide what you want to hear about. Should I take my stories of chinese children pooping in th
e streets and eloquently recount them for you here? Or Is there value in my daily rambling? Not decided....stay tuned.
I hate waiting. I hate waiting at the airport for the plane to come. I hate waiting for my dumplings to be boiled when I'm hungry. I hate waiting on boys. Waiting for them to come around. Waiting for them to call. Waiting for them to realize the best thing they never had. I think you hate waiting too.
Hi welcome to Mcdonalds! What would you like? Oh that will be ready in about 2 weeks....you can wait right??? Whi
ch leads me to my point. We are living in a delayed gratification culture in an instant gratification world.
There is always one boy...I see him and I get stuck. and I think
YOU ARE MY PLAN OF ACTION.......until I am blown off.
Then I find a new plan of action. Or at least try to pretend like I found a new plan of action.
did it work.....?
We try to cover up our feelings. We don't say what we mean. What kind of ridiculous species extends delayed gratification when
what we all want here is INSTANT GRATIFICATION. "Hurry back home to me from China woman.....i'm itchin' to watch some modern family!" Which really means, I miss you and really want to see you, and don't really care if we watch anything as planned. But i'm not going to say that because it doesn't sound cool or funny.
Boy likes girl, but boy doesn't want girl to know. So he thinks, I better not talk to her too much. I'd better not let her know. Maybe only a little bit, so she'll be really confused as to why I don't look her in the eyes some days,
but sit really close to her during movies when she's cold.
**?????***
Maybe I don't want to be human. Maybe I should turn into a spirit animal like a panda or something. YEAH, a Panda! I'm cute and cuddly. And i've gained about 10lb from all the delicious noodlesand fried rice i've been enjoying. I'm starting to look a little like i'm preparing for hybernation. And no I don't regret that. Booyah.
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