So It has just come to my attention that my blog has over 8,415 hits in the total history of its being created. Now call me crazy, but I honestly didn't think anyone even read this thing. I'm seriously shocked. And on that note, I want to say thank you to whoever does read about my life and my thoughts.You won't see a ton of instagram pictures from me, or stuff about cooking or working out. Although I do have a hard core goal to work out starting NOW. I also don't typically post about my clothes or stuff that I want. I write about what's in my mind and in my heart, and if you know me at all, you know that that is very fitting of me.
Today was my first day of school! I'm an assistant at 4 different middle schools. and I started off the week at middle school #1 with Mr. Jon Doe (name changed cause...ya know). I saw him in the parking lot when I was walking in, and i'll admit I wondered who the heck this guy was. Nerdy glasses and suspenders with a fauxhawk of curls with a little gold streak down the back. Then I walked into class and he was Choir man! And we had a great time today getting to know 100+ middle school kids. Who knew that song 'Scotlands Burning' we learned in Sister Kenny's elementary music class could have kids laughing so much and having so much fun. Feels good to have learned something in all those years of college. And my students are so hilarious...most of their names I could barely pronounce embarrassingly enough. (I really need to learn Spanish yo)
Ya know this move back to Texas has been both really exciting and hard at the same time. When my life got uprooted in less than 2 weeks, esp when I said I would NEVER move home, and in the opposite direction of the place that my heart is telling me i'm going to end up, It can be a challenge. Some days I just think, what the crap am I doing! But I know that this is the right choice for me, even though its the unexpected one. It feels really good to be doing something with my life that I actually had to work for. It feels really good to have a career, and living at home ain't bad either. Mom makes me dinner and asks how my day was, and you sure can't beat the price of the rent!
I'll admit something to you secretly, since you are die hard enough to have continued reading for this long lol. I've struggled with something for the past year. After my mission I got so wrapped up in school and my Provo friends and my long term goals, that I haven't taken a good hard look at me for a long time. One of my good friends once said "Being true to yourself is often hard to do. And you will often find yourself standing alone." I haven't been being as true to myself as I want to be. Right before my mission I was the best version of myself that I've ever been. I was confident and organized and happy. and it really showed. I worked out every single week without fail. And I did that because it was a goal I had for myself. I was in a musical outside of school just because I wanted to be. I wrote on my blog all the time because I loved it. And I didn't give any of that up just because a friend called or because some hottie wanted to go on a date. I owned my life and did what I needed to take pride in myself be successful. And somewhere along the last year, I'll admit I lost some of that. I relied on my friends and other people for my happiness instead of just looking inside of myself. The good news is, I never stopped relying on God. And that's why I'm still on solid ground.
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