I live at a place called Santa Barbara, the complex not the city in California. Now, just to let you get an idea of what this place is like, everyone loves to hang out. There is a grassy place in the middle of our complex called 'the quad'. People like to hang out in there and chat, flirt even if you will, but never make a move because they don't have the........somethings. people here also love to be spastic and spontaneous on purpose, just to make themselves feel youthful. But, planned spontaneity,.....well.....doesn't that defeat the purpose? You catch my drift. There are many people that I like to call "quad cruisers". They hang out in the quad, thinking themselves very 'bad a' and even hipster like. Some of them don't even live here. And I'll have to admit, I think they are pretty cool too, whether it out of admiration or out of jealously or possible disdain, i'm still not sure. But quad crusing status is something that I have yet to embark on, out of personal preference. However, tonight around 11:30 I was on my couch minding my own business and I heard voices....many many voices coming from said quad area. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my couch to see what was the matter. Away to the quad I flew like a flash, tore through the bushes, and arrived at the bash. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a million and one people ive never seen before playing rootbeer pong. And as soon as I got out there, It felt like I was in some new hipster land. There were tables everywhere and guys and girls flirtin' it up and the people from our ward were huddled around in a little corner taking cover from the ruckas. We were invaded by the r. beer pong brigade. And it felt like one of those parties you go to where all the hotties are out and on the prowl for other.....hotties. and the point of the party is to look cool and be young, not really to play ping pong obviously. And when I was out there kinda fenagling around and seeing what was going on, I realized that I was over it. I'm over pretending to be some wanna be hipster and having to be involved in everything for fear of not being accepted. I'm over wearing skanky clothes and fawning over certain boys that get all the attention. I'm sick of having to try so hard to fit in to stupid things like this quad cruiser scene that are so pointless/not at all meaningful to my life! And i realized that its ok that i'm busy and actually have ambitions for my life that don't involve chillin' for hours a day. Its ok that I like to have meaningful conversations instead of talk about TV shows and quote movies all night. Its ok that I don't want to be a quad cruiser and its OK that I am who I am. And it's also ok that quad cruisers are who they are. I feel really good about this realization, and now I need to sleeeeppppppp
2 comments:
love the post! i think you are referring to a little something called growing up. ;) fun stuff huh! i love that you love who you are! that is super important. go you, em! :)
Thank you Emily. You felt EXACTLY how I felt on that night. I was one of the one's huddling and taking cover. I left AS SOON as I could. I love how you called them quad cruisers. A few others and I now call those people "The Bros" or "The Provo All-Stars." Thank you for putting to words the disdain that many of us felt.
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