Change

This weekend over conference I was pumped with SO many insights and thoughts about my life that it was both gloriously invigorating AND a little bit overwhelming. Last night before I fell asleep I was trying to sort all of the thoughts in to little categories and concrete spaces in my head so they wouldn't be swirling around so quickly and making a mess in there. And the one word that i could use to make sense of it all was CHANGE. I am thankful for the gospel and religion in my life because it motivates me to change. And I have a huge long list of things that I need to change in my life after yesterday. I'm hoping to make that list shorter and shorter in the coming month as i work on the things that I need to do better at LIKE provident living, being faith filled, sharing the gospel, working towards getting married (lets save that discussion for another day lol), and just being a more charitable person in general. I know that there are so SO many things that I need to be better at, but sometimes when you are at the bottom of a mountain looking up, it seems so impossible to start climbing towards the top. But conference gave me some motivation and some specific ideas of things that I need to start doing NOW. And that's the beautiful thing about the gospel; that being religious is not just an idea. It is in the little things that we DO day in and day out like reading scriptures and remembering to pray. These things help me to become a person that portrays the Savior. Sometimes it hurts a little bit to have to change. It is difficult to say "i'm not going to do that anymore" even though i want to do things I shouldn't. Just like that one talk by Elder Oaks about desire says, we start with a desire. And I DO have desire, but sometimes I let my natural man get the best of me. I just need to tell myself that my desire to read my scriptures every day can over-ride my natural instincts to asleep :P YES! I can do that. And my desire to be a more charitable person can over-ride my temptation to judge others. Bottom line, there are things that I can and will change because of this conference. And I just love our church so much because it helps me to be better. I hope that I can be a person that helps others and always uplifts the people I love!! And not by what I say, but just from the spirit that lies within me, and by the person that I am trying to become. I hope to have more love in my self so that I can touch hearts. Because SO many people in my life inspire me and help me just by being who they are: examples of faith and selflessness. Its time for some changes.