Thank you for not giving up on my blog! You are reading this: and therefore i know that i still exist. I have not disappeared into oblivion. I feel so much these days, and yet sometimes i just push it into the closet of my mind and focus on right now. I forget that i am going on a mission or that i am burning so fiercely that few people can hold me in their hands.....and i just resume being me. Emily Masterson. I love this blog.....it is my outlet. It is my time capsule! i will come back from my chinese life and dig up this piece of me, the piece that is left here out in cyber world, cherished by you, those that i love. So many things are happeneing right now. A black man rules america! Gas is a mere 1.87.....not quite what it was when i first started driving. I filled up pookie my carolla then for only $14....yeah im getting older lol. My fingernails are painted black in symbolic rebellion, the last ounce i have in me. My hair is beautiful brown....the color that frees me from my indifference of life, and my urges to wear the mask that makes me the elusive blonde girl that always runs away and tries to seem perfect. More real. I no longer hide behind security for a sense of self. I wear my soul jewelry....tons of it. Bracelets from the osh and native america and my grandmother. I just came back from seeing her....i see myself. The fireball in ballin outfits with matching earrings and eyes that are fiercely peaceful and piercing at the same time. This woman could change the world. On my finger i wear a cross, the symbol of my lifelong journey to god. I scavange for the music on this blog. Each of these songs are important to me, and tell the collective story of my life. Listen to them; listen to the words and give yourself over to the music. let it flow through you. I speak to young women, i speak in church, i bear my testimony; i am now viewed as the expert on all things religious lol. I am a missionary! I teach my personal rules for life.
#1: Be fearless. Always be fearless
#2: DONT BE STUPID
#3: Heal; dont hurt. Undo the knots that others have tied.
#4: Send love to the Universe: Everywhere. To the trees, to the trashcans. the animals and the souls of the earth.

I love my music note jacket and sweat pants and journ and just ALL things music. I fight with my heart for the people i hvae loved, and those that i still do. I wish at 11:11! I wear my favorite snowflake leggings and pensecola florida tank top, and anticipate when i wont be able to wear these things anymore. I eat ice cream everyday! Cherry garcia, new york chocolate chunk, rocky road....just everything. I reach for my fishy and just worry for her and wish for her while i am gone. I wonder what she will look like on her graduation day, or her first day of college, on her eventual wedding day. I cry at the thought of missing any of these things....all in the name of china. I drive in my car with the windows down and the heat on blast. I sing in my hairbrush and drum on my dash....i let myself feel that i am alive! And i wonder at the moments that i know im not alone. I read i eat i pray i love. All of you are in my time capsule....ill remember you.